3×17 – Bärenjäger | Ravenous

Ziva: Not a big fan of nature huh?
Tony: Oh.. I’m a big fan of nature as long as it’s on tv.

Ziva: Mind if I take a bat nap?
Female Park Ranger: No, just, um, hang from the rafters.

Tony: (freaks out at the Park Rangers hairy pits and legs, starts pretending to cry) I’m married.
Female Park Ranger: Then why did you ask for my phone number?
Tony: She’s dead. It was a pottery accident. Kiln overheated or something. Very unexpected. Very unexpected! I thought I was ready to move on.
Female Park Ranger: (hugging a horrified Tony) Oh you poor, poor man.

Ziva: I don’t want him to think I’m sleazy.
Tony: The term is easy.
Ziva: What’s the difference?
Tony: Mostly the makeup.

Ziva: It’ll be like trying to find a pin in the haystack.
Tony: …Needle…
Ziva: But, wouldn’t it be harder to find the pin?
Tony/McGee: No.

Abby: I was just about to call Tony and McGee. I think they were having sex.
Ziva (surprised): Tony and McGee?
Abby: No!

Tony: Maybe she drove out here on her own. That’s why nobody saw her with Riley. Registration could give us a name.
Ziva: I assume Gibbs would have checked that out last night.
Tony: Rule #8: Never assume anything.
Ziva: To be precise – it’s, „Never take anything for granted.“
Tony: To be precise, what would you do if I started head-slapping you?
Ziva: I’d most likely kill you. It’s, uh, a reflex thing.